- Commissioners Note
- League News
- Whispers From Around the IFFL
- 7 Things I Think I Think
Week 13 results and box scores are posted and the playoff teams are indicated on the standings page. Congratulations to the South Carolina Scarecrows, Tequila Sunrise, Chicago Fightin' Ditkas, Tabbi's Kats, New Whiteland Chicken Pluckers and the Salisbury Snappers on making the 2013 IFFL Playoffs!
Week 11 results and box scores have been posted and roster moves are up to date.
Lineups are posted and roster moves are up to date.
Results and Box Scores have been posted. Roster moves are up to date.
New 7 Things article posted and roster moves are up to date.
Box Scores and roster moves are posted. All rosters should be up to date.
Posted week 9 results and current standings. Will post box scores and roster moves tomorrow.
New Whispers and 7 Things articles are up.
New article posted. All roster moves are up to date.
Week 7 results and boxscores ahve been posted. Standings and roster moves are up to date.
Week 6 results and box scores have been posted. Standings and roster moves are up to date.
Yet more roster moves are posted, new article about yesterday's trades and a new 7 Things are both up. Rosters are up to date.
Metric butt-load of roster moves are posted, including two trades. Rosters and Standings are now up to date.
Week 5 results and box scores are now posted.
New Whispers and 7 Things articles are up. Roster moves and team roster pages are current.
New article under league news. Rosters, roster moves, week 4 box scores and standings are all up to date.
Roster moves are up to date and a new 7 Things article has been posted.
Week 3 results and box scores are posted. Roster moves are up to date.
Roster moves are current and a new Whispers and 7 Things have been posted.
Rosters moves are current and the front page of the site has been fixed.
Roster moves are current. Both League News and a new 7Things article are up.
Rosters are set and Roster moves are up to date.
Roster moves are up to date.
New Whispers article has been posted to the front page. Roster moves are updated and line-up previews are up.
Roster moves are up to date. Preseason results are posted.
The 2013 IFFL Supplemental Draft is over and done with! The Boise Boy Scouts and the Cincinnati Bagels now have a full compliment of players and are ready for the season to begin.
Free Agency begins Friday August 30, 2013 at 11:59 PM.
The 2013 IFFL Draft is complete! Thanks to all the owners that could participate and here's to hoping all those that had to miss this year's festivities can make it next year.
Welcome back for another exciting fantasy football season. Like last year the draft will be held in Greene County, IN, roughly 20 - 30 minutes outside of Bloomington. Saturday August 24th is the date for the draft (as opposed to the 25th which I mistakenly e-mailed out) and we will be planning on starting at around 2:00 PM. I will send out more details and directions as we get closer to draft weekend.
I've updated each players salary on the roster pages. What is listed there is what they will cost if you protect them. I would like to have everyone's protected players by the 14th so I can get them posted and give everyone plenty of time to adjust their draft strategy (if they have one).
More updates to come over the next few weeks.
Salisbury Pulls Off Hat Trick At The Deadline, Revamps Roster - Oct. 29
SALISBURY, Maryland – The Salisbury Snappers pulled off multiple deals at the deadline Tuesday afternoon sending Larry Fitzgerald to New Whiteland in exchange for TE Vernon Davis, RB David Wilson, WR Keenan Allen and a 5th round pick to Pittsburgh for WR Brandon Marshall and in yet another deal the Snappers sent their 3rd round choice to Taipei in return for WR Torrey Smith.
It has been a year of crazy for the Snappers, who usually stand firm on their draft choices, have been very active in the trade market this year. “The disappointment we have felt with some of our players has made us rethink our trade stance, Arian, Larry and Antonio have made this franchise one of the best in the league. Not having them on this roster is saddening to most of the front office personnel, but welcoming back Vernon Davis who was regrettably cut, has been brought back,” said one Salisbury source.
Taipei granted Smith’s desire to go play for a contender by trading him to Salisbury. “I think that Pierre and I can create huge matchup issues for opposing defenses and open up running lanes for Eddie, Ray, and Lamar” said Smith, “I welcome this challenge and thank the Snappers for the faith that I can help them out.”
In the last deal of the day for Salisbury, they managed to nab a massively productive WR in Brandon Marshall while Pittsburgh got younger and possibly added depth at the running back position. Unloading Marshall’s bloated contract was not factor in the trade claimed Pittsburgh officials
The Snappers have said that both Marshall and Smith will start this week and Davis will make his debut in week 10, he has a previously scheduled surgery set for Friday and the team will not interfere with his plans.
Said Jason Beaver, “Right now everyone and their mothers are chasing the Scarecrows and Kats, both teams we have lost to this season. We just want a spot at the playoff table and then we’ll take our chances from there.”
Do You Wanna Trade...? IFFL Trade Deadline Less Than 24 Hours Away - Oct. 28
TEQUILA, New Mexico – The IFFL’s trade deadline is just a little over 24 hours away slated to hit at midnight on October 29, 2013. So get your deals done before it’s too late.
Said one owner, “There seems to be more buyers this year than sellers, everyone thinks they are still in the playoff race, but let me remind everyone of this, no team has ever made the playoffs with more than 5 losses.” I think that owner is trying to drum up some movement.
One source with knowledge of the situation tells us that, “There is an offer on the table that would shock a lot of the league it would involve 3 teams and around 8 players being traded.” A 2nd source confirmed the offer and also confirmed 3 of the top 5 players in the league would be involved in the deal.
*** BREAKING NEWS - Megatron Invades New Delhi!!! *** - Oct. 23
Cincinnati, OHIO - Today is a dark day in Bagel history, which goes back all of 2 months at this point in time, as the team has agreed to send WR Calvin Johnson to New Delhi for 3 players.
"We decided that we needed make a change, and get more diversified at each and every position," said owner LP Couch, "In the past we have declined some very intriguing offers for Calvin, and we thank those teams for the offers, maybe he would be on your team if the offer was better."
The Bagels will receive RB DeMarco Murray, WR Vincent Jackson and WR Anquan Boldin. The two receivers will be hard pressed to match Johnson's production, but if they are half as good as Johnson in the Bagel system this team could be dangerous.
For the Subs the addition of Johnson means subtraction to other areas of the team, the teams already thin RB corps just got thinner and less talented, but also healthier and less injury prone.
"We, as an organization, cant wait to see if all the hype around Calvin is justiffied or not," said Sub owner Pete Shaunki.
Keep an eye on www.iffl.org for more news from around the league.
Whale Blubber Gets Shipped Out For Tequila - Oct. 10
Columbia, SOUTH CAROLINA – On this day there were trades. The Whalers sent oft injured RB C.J. Spiller, along with WR Victor Cruz, to the Tequila Sunrise for RB Trent Richardson and WR Dwayne Bowe.
“We feel that Trent can be the franchise back that we hoped C.J. would be but ultimately wasn’t able to stay healthy enough to become,” said owner Chad Allen. He went on to express deep regret in sending Cruz to the Sunrise saying that Cruz now has to “get closer to his roots, being that close to the border.” He was asked repeatedly about trading the most dangerous piece of the Whaler offense, to which he kept mumbling something about "that is your opinion and you can keep it to yourself." Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe that we are seeing the beginning of the end for one of the most tortured owners in the IFFL.
Tequila officials put out a one sentence press release: "We, the Tequila Sunrise, welcome whole heartedly the arrival of Victor and C.J. and our sympathies are with Trent and Dwayne as they navigate the Hell that is Hartford."
In other league news the Salisbury Snappers have sent TE Antonio Gates to the San Antonio Mexican’ts for WR Larry Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald, you might remember, was the key piece in a 3 way trade last season that sent him to San Antonio. Gates was starting to pick up where he left off in his last stint in Salisbury when he led the team in receiving.
San Antonio was in dire need of a TE since Owen Daniels mysteriously suffered a broken leg after halftime in the game against South Carolina last week. “We are very sorry to hear that Owen is going to be out for the rest of the season and we are very happy to announce the trade for Antonio Gates," stated owner Tanya Harless,"and oh yeah, we are going to release Owen Daniels.”
*** BREAKING NEWS - Salisbury Wins!!! *** - Oct. 2
SALISBURY, Maryland - The Salisbury Snappers have finally won a game, beating the New Delhi Subs 36-33 on Sunday. Reports are circulating that owner Jason Beaver was perched on the roof of Rockne-Montana Memorial Stadium ready to jump to his demise if his team was unable to win, but as of this time those reports cannot be confirmed.
Beaver did say on Thursday when reached that if the Snappers lost this week, "I'm going to give them some inspiration to play for the rest of the way," so it's a good bet that something drastic was about to happen in Maryland.
What can be confirmed right now is that the team has released QB Michael Vick, the quarterback responsible for the title in 2010. "We have made a decision, based on the play of both Matthew and Michael, that at this time it would be best if we allow Michael to leave and try to find employment with another team," stated the teams PR Director, Avan Beaver.
Stay tuned to iffl.org for more on this story as it becomes available.
IT'S RARE!!! Trade Between Salisbury and South Carolna Benefits Both Teams - Sep. 17
Salisbury, Maryland – In the aftermath of an 0-2 start in Salisbury, the Snappers have made a snap decision and made some major changes to the roster. The Snappers have sent RB Arian Foster to South Carolina for RB Lamar Miller and WR Pierre Garcon.
“Today the face of the Salisbury Snappers changes as we bid adieu to ‘one of the greats, both on the field and off’, Arian Foster will always be welcome here, unless he leads the Scarecrows to the title this year,” said Jason Beaver. “This was the most difficult decision I have ever made as an owner, but as sad as saying goodbye is, I'm just as elated to say hello to Lamar and Pierre. We always have tried to target Pierre in the drafts but have never been fortunate enough to get him, Lamar was a victim of the system down there so its great to get him into a fresh non-threating situation.”
Foster leave’s Maryland as the Snappers all-time leading rusher, and will head to South Carolina as a starter in a very talented, multi -faceted backfield. He joins Matt Forte and Alfred Morris in a very talented backfield, and the receivers don’t really miss a beat with Josh Gordon coming back from suspension this week.
“With Morris, Foster, and Forte not only do we have the power backs we also have the ability to split Forte out and have all three backs on the field at one time. Everyone knows how much Peyton loves his targets. So running the ball or receiving the ball we have backs that can do it all,” said Trevor Harless.
Harless continues, “We also believed that Lamar Miller has all the talent to be a top notch back in this league but the Scarecrows had a log jam at running back and he just wouldn't get the opportunity to shine. We wish both of these players the best, but not too much as this was a trade within the division.”
The trade leaves the league shocked will the Snappers dramatic move make them the team they thought they were in the preseason or did the Snappers just hand the Scarecrows the division and possibly another title. We will soon find out.
Tinker Tinker Subs GM, Tinker Tinker Never Win - Sep. 11
NEW DELHI, India – The well known game of tinkering with the Subs roster has kicked off. Friday the Subs made a swap with Indianapolis which gets Marshawn Lynch out of India, and puts Aaron Rodgers in India (Rodgers was unable to play in week one due to “Visa issues”.)
So then on Tuesday the tinker bomb struck again, as the Subs sent sudden backup and 4 year starting QB Matt Ryan to the New Whiteland Chicken Pluckers for mercurial WR Vincent Jackson. “We feel that with Vincent and Julio along with "Discount Double Check" Rodgers we have a club to go to the Super Bowl," said owner Pete Shaunki.
If the past is any indication though the Subs tinkering will send them right down the toilet leaving the league eagerly anticipating the results of the trades.
We Built This Team... To Win A Championship!!! - Sep. 2
Bedford, INDIANA – Every season 14 teams try to win the coveted IFFL Championship… and each season 13 teams fail. While those teams are failing, one team is rising to the top. This is how I see the 2013 season unfolding one week after the draft.
Historically, the Central division is usually dominated by one team. Having 3 teams competitive for half of the 2012 season and then having 2 teams battle down to the last week of the season was a nice surprise. This season the Peanut Butter Balls and the Indy Animals should once again be at the top of the division, but they should watch their backs. The Fightin’ Ditka’s and Kats have retooled their teams and look to make strong comebacks this season, while the Chicken Pluckers will be a difficult team to beat. I see the Central looking a little something like this…
1) Pittsburgh (8-5) - The league had better watch out if Randall Cobb stays healthy and Brian Hartline lives up to his talent. This team could easily be 11-2 behind Andrew Luck.
2) Chicago (8-5) - The Ditka’s lose the division title by less than a touchdown, but still it’s one heck of a turnaround season for Chicago. Sleeper to watch: WR Kenbrell Thompkins, a superstar in the making.
3) New Whiteland (7-6) - Having both Rob Gronkowski and Vernon Davis is going to make this team much more physical and efficient.
4) Tabbi’s (5-8) - I'm afraid there are too many question marks about the health of this teams players to put them any higher.
5) Indy (3-10) - ...and this is what happens when Aaron Rodgers gets hurt.
The West has, for a long time, been Tequila and then everyone else. I think more of the same will apply this season. This division is by far the most incomplete.
1) Tequila (10-3) - The addition of Giovani Bernard to Adrian Peterson and Trent Richardson adds fuel to this running attack. Would’ve been better with Eddie Lacy, but they didn’t have the chance to get him.
2) San Antonio (7-6) - This is attainable if everyone stays healthy this season starting with QB Matt Schaub.
3) Boise (3-10) - So far this team needs some help lets see what they do in free agency.
4) Cincinnati (2-11) - Like the Boy Scouts this team is free agency bound, they need a few boom type players.
Salisbury 3 titles, South Carolina 2 titles and New Delhi 1 title. Even Hartford has played in 2 title games while Taipei has been close for a while now. This is the East and the most difficult division in the IFFL.
1) South Carolina (8-5) - The Scarecrows have Peyton Manning back in the fold and a nice supporting cast to help him out, this team is a title contender once again.
2) Salisbury (8-5) - Matt Stafford was brought on board this season to help the passing game out, now if they just had receivers that were as good as the runners on this team… that would be an amazing feat.
3) Taipei (8-5) - This team is just solid all around. As long as the injury bug stays away from them they should be playoff bound for consecutive seasons. Player to watch: Jermichael Finley.
4) New Delhi (7-6) - If Hartford didn’t put so much emphasis on the Honey Mustard games , then you could probably change this record to 9-4, now we’ll see how good Matty Ice really is.
5) Hartford (7-6) - The Whalers are unfortunately in the middle of a perfect storm. Tom Brady is good but with the talent in the division at the level it is I just don’t see how they can overtake the other 4 teams.
Individual awards are what this league is made of so I think this season I will prognosticate these.
MVP - Trent Richardson, Tequila, In his second year he busts out of Adrian Petersons shadow and takes home the MVP trophy.
Offensive Player - Peyton Manning, South Carolina, He simply is getting better after the arm surgery and this season proves he is immortal.
Defense - Taipei, That is just a talented defense.
GM – Andrew Wang (Chung), Taipei, Based solely on the draft this team appears to be the most balanced in the league which should be a good thing in December in Taipei.
Rookie - Eddie Lacy, Salisbury, This kid was the apple of at least 2 team’s eye, at least the good guys got him.
Most Improved – Ryan Mathews, Chicago, Battled injuries in Salisbury last season, if he stays healthy then his talent should finally shine through.
Biggest Disappointment - Aaron Rodgers, Indy, That is what injuries will do to a great player.
In their quest for the championship Tequila and South Carolina will start off with the bye’s, an added advantage of home field for being the best in the regular season. The wildcard games as I see them...
Taipei at Pittsburgh – The Personality will go to Pittsburgh and the PB Balls will defend home field. A healthy Andrew Luck is just about the best thing to happen in Pittsburgh since the 1970’s.
Chicago at Salisbury – The Snappers return to the playoffs to avenge last seasons quick exit from the tourney and eke out a win at the final buzzer off the foot of Legatron.
In the final four the two winners will go to either Tequila or Columbia for the chance to play in the Superbowl.
Pittsburgh at South Carolina – We just told you that Andrew Luck in December is almost automatic so I will give him the edge here and a return to the Super Bowl.
Salisbury at Tequila – The Snappers enjoy going to the desert and playing the Sunrise, and we’re sure the Sunrise won’t enjoy watching another Legatron FG sail between the uprights to win the game and advance for a second straight week.
Superbowl XVIII in Chicago
Pittsburgh v Salisbury – This game is happening just because I didn’t want to be boring and have the same game as last year again. Also don’t forget Andrew Luck in December is going against Salisbury’s 3-0 record in the Superbowl. Ill give a slight edge to….
Enjoy the season! I hope I'm wrong on everything and I hope everyone has a blast playing.
2013 IFFL Supplemental Draft Needed - Aug. 25
The 2013 draft was unfortunately delayed by a couple of hours due to unforseen circumstances (PETE!!) beyond the leagues control. Due to this delay the Boise Boy Scouts were unable to participate in the draft. The league has sent out an official apology to the Boy Scout organization and both the Boy Scouts and the Bagels (who also did not attend) will both take part in a supplemental draft to fill out their rosters before the regular season. All roster moves have been frozen until after this supplemental draft is complete.
The 2013 IFFL Supplemental Draft will take place on August 28th.
Mock, Mock, Mockity Mock Draft - Aug. 22
Bedford, IN - The annual IFFL draft is coming up this weekend and it seems like everyone is doing a mock draft, so I will do one as well. So without further ado...
1) Chicago – WR Victor Cruz—With Eli Manning at QB you need someone that he likes to catch the ball enter Victor Cruz they make sweet music together.
2) Cincinnati – QB Cameron Newton—This is a no brainer, Cam was a top 3 QB in the second half of last season its time he builds on that.
3) South Carolina - SG Reggie Miller RB Ryan Mathews—With much love to Matt Forte this team needs to be much better on the ground and Mathews if healthy provides that spark, its still possible that Reggie Miller is the pick here though.
4) Tabbi’s – WR Vincent Jackson – That’s a tall drink of water that actually catches passes so it’s a win, win.
5) New Whiteland – QB Tony Romo – That’s 30 TD’s right there and the name of the game is scoring points.
6) San Antonio – QB Peyton Manning – You gotta have one of these and if your going to get one make sure they have a laser rocket arm.
7) Boise – K Adam Vinatieri – Its out of the box thinking like this that keeps this team out of the playoffs most years.
8) Indy – RB Ben Jarvus Green Ellis – His nickname is the law firm and with as hot as this team started last year it’s a crime that they ended up not winning the division.
9) Taipei – RB Michael Turner –Best player available.
10) Hartford – TE Aaron Hernandez –Murder? What murder are you talking about, that there is a damn good TE.
11) New Delhi – TE Jimmy Graham – Somewhere I can hear Pete Shaunki saying at least my guy is playing this year.
12) Salisbury – RB Chris Ivory – With a name like Ivory you just hope he’s as slippery as the soap.
13) Pittsburgh – WR Danario Alexander – Damn that’s a long name.
14) Tequila – RB Adrian Peterson – “He’s so good I'll draft him again and halve his stats for each game and still win the league, you guys suck,” stated Jeff Dixon, Tequila owner and commissioner.
It's That Time Again - Aug. 4
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and girls all across Indiana and one in Tennessee...
Are you ready?
I said... ARE YOU READY!?
It's time once again for everyone’s favorite league to commence business. The 17th Annual IFFL draft will be held on Saturday, August 24, 2013 at Dogwood Springs in Greene County, IN. The defending league champion Tequila Sunrise will be looking to repeat and win their 6th title in 2013. Runner up Pittsburgh will be looking to build on last season's run to the title game and try take home the title for the first time.
Kicking off the draft at approx. 2:05 pm will be the Chicago Fightin’ Ditkas, a team that is either very good or very bad; there doesn’t seem to be any middle ground with this team. Then 3rd year squad the Cincinnati Bagels, formerly the Butte Pirates, will select someone who will undoubtedly be horrible this season( as is the usual with the 2nd pick). Rounding out the order is South Carolina, Tabbi’s, New Whiteland, San Antonio, Boise, Indy, Taipei, Hartford, New Delhi, Salisbury, Pittsburgh, and Tequila.
Hope is running wild everywhere. Whose bubble will burst on the 24th and whose will survive another month or so? Tune in on draft day along with everyone else to see what happens.
November 15, 2013
- Sources tell us that QB Tom Brady was almost shipped out of Hartford at the trade deadline. This is the closest that Brady has come to being traded since he was quoted in an article as saying that he was "super excited that the worst show in television history had just been cancelled," referring to The Gilmore Girls, which is his owners favorite show.
- We hear that RB Trent Richardson has a sex tape. The Whalers RB is supposedly in the video with three women, our source who has seen the video says, “at first I wasn’t sure if it was Richardson or Moby Dick!”
- We hear that Salisbury team leaders have covered the teams remaining schedule, only leaving the this week’s game uncovered. The team feels that the players are more focused on the teams current week game and not future opponents.
- We hear Calvin Johnson is 50/50 for the Subs game this week against Salisbury. Johnson injured his quad in “practice” last week and reinjured it in the Boise game. Johnson, who works out in Hawaii during the week, has the offensive game plan emailed to him and skype’s in during team meetings. He has yet to see the team’s practice facility since being traded weeks ago.
- Our South Carolina sources tell us that owner Trevor Harless is a raging lunatic. The Scarecrows have lost 3 straight with 2 of those losses being divisional games having the slide all start against New Delhi.
- The Kats meanwhile are staying positive after their loss to Cincinnati last week. "Its all going to be ok," say the players. Team owner Tabbi Brewer really wants to win a championship and feels this is her best shot.
- San Antonio is looking for answers as well. It looked as though the league’s two female owners would easily cruise into the playoff’s, however the Mexican’ts have now lost 3 in a row, leaving one to wonder if there is some kind of poison in the Harless family water supply.
November 2, 2013
• Sources tell us that the 3 deals made by the Salisbury Snappers came together very quickly in the span of about 3 hours from start to finish, the teams' front office is now upbeat and ecstatic about the potential of this new squad.
• Looking thru the numbers after the week 8 game by Calvin Johnson, his 329 yds are more than Dwayne Bowe (302 yds) or Greg Jennings (327 yds) have compiled on the season.
• In South Carolina, sources tell us it was more than the first loss of the season for the Scarecrows as Peyton Manning came out of the game with a bruised right thumb (some say ego) and will have to miss this weeks game against the Snappers but he should be back in time for week 10 against Tequila.
• The Pittsburgh PB Balls are looking to the future by dealing away Brandon Marshall, one team source tells us, the future is bright we had to shave some salary cap space we like what we have in the combination of Wilson and Martin, of course they both need to return from injury.
• Sources tell us that Tequila rebuffed an offer from New Delhi that would’ve sent Calvin Johnson and Aaron Rodgers to the desert for Adrian Peterson, Rodgers and Johnson work out in Hawaii during the week away from the rest of the Subs, so they don’t have to travel so much.
• Aside from the Snappers trades, it was shockingly quiet at the trade deadline as we have only been able to confirm the ND and Tequila deal as the only proposed offer that was turned down.
• Sources tell us that the mood in the Harless household is somewhat touchy with SC Owner is standing on a cliff as the Scarecrows lost a game they should’ve won but the defense couldn’t stop the best WR in the game right now, and on the other side SA owners Tanya is ecstatic after having the best record the team has ever had after 8 games at 5-3.
October 4, 2013
- We hear that there was a semi viable offer for WR Dwayne Bowe last week, but Tequila officials believe he is worth more in leadership than what was offered via trade.
- Were told that there was very nearly a mega trade between Salisbury and Cincinnati, the teams would’ve swapped franchise players and changed the composition of both franchises for years to come. Our source in Cincinnati tells us that the trade was more of a pipe dream on Salisbury’s part, that Bagel ownership really was never considering the offer.
- Our source in Tequila tells us that the was an offer for Trent Richardson that was very intriguing and actually accepted but the offering team actually pulled the offer off the table, the offer which was for a player and 3 1st round picks. It might’ve been the offering team realized how incredibly stupid it was to make that deal.
- In a story that broke Tuesday, we hear Michael Vick, had very little chance to save his job as the starting QB in Salisbury, the coaches played him with the hope that he had a good game and increased his trade value, which backfired so he was released allowing him to find a job.
- Also, Vick was almost traded in a package during the Salisbury/South Carolina trade after week 2, there is some confusion as to whether or not there was a 3rd team involved or if Vick would’ve been the backup to Peyton Manning in Carolina.
- Multiple sources tell us that Vernon Davis, and DeMarco Murray are available via trade. In regards to Davis our source tells us that, “if you make an offer make sure it’s reasonable, as the team wants to make it known that he is more valuable with us than against us.”
- We hear that San Antonio is feeling really giddy right now and they plan on keeping the feeling alive. They are pounding the phone day and night trying to make a deal for that one player that will push them over the top. Maybe they should stop making prank calls to Cincinnati and Boise and concentrate on getting a top RB or a compliment to Larry Fitzgerald, so they can win the annual domestic violence bowl this week against South Carolina.
- Everyone make sure to email and wish Tanya Harless a happy birthday, she is old. Happy Birthday Tanya!
September 21, 2013
- We hear the Salisbury Snappers may not be done moving players and have even made a few offers around the league. The pressure of starting 0-2 has seeped into the franchise.
- We hear Tequila RB Le’Veon Bell did in fact practice on Wednesday, but he says he is still a few weeks away from returning.
- We hear that the Mexican’ts front office personnel is not taking winning in stride, as they continually call the Sunrise and Bagels front offices and scream “Losers” then hang up.
- We hear that South Carolina owner Trevor Harless is not happy about the San Antonio good start, “Its turning him into a mad man, that has only one goal win at all costs” says one source, although the source would not confirm or deny that Harless has been walking around screaming “Sweep the Leg.”
- Sources tell us that its business as usual in Pittsburgh, “Were not an 0-2 team says ownership” someone should teach them to read the standings they are an 0-2 team.
- We’re not sure what they are putting in the water in Boise but we hear that team owner Josh Prine was unaware that the season had even started, “We are ready to get out there and get a win in week 1” maybe that is just wishful thinking since All World QB Drew Brees has returned to earth so far this year.
- We hear that the tinkering in New Delhi is not done, as the team is trying to make more deals, were told that they even had a deal come in for a bag of Apples, a bag of Oranges, and a box of diapers.” We’re shocked to hear they didn’t jump on that as diapers are expensive.
- We’re getting some light shed on the suspension of Scarecrow WR Josh Gordon, from his owners press conference after the Garcon trade earlier this week, “Josh Gordon’s coming off his league imposed suspension for calling out the Commissioner in allowing the Butte Pirates to move locations and change from a great logo to what looks like a "Football with a bad yeast infection for a logo".”
September 5, 2013
- Word out of South Carolina is that the team has a battle on their hands for the 3rd RB position, Lamar Miller is pulling ahead of team favorite Ronnie Hillman.
- Victor Cruz is dancing the Salsa once again. The oft injured Hartford WR is back to practicing after a bruised heel held him out of preseason camp.
- Rob Gronkowski is back to practicing with the ChickenPluckers after having 3 surgeries on his elbow in the offseason. Says RoboGronk “Excuse me, I have to go. Somewhere there is football happening.”
- Word leaking out of Tequila is that LeVeon Bell may, may be back in less than the originally thought six to eight weeks. Bell has responded so well to treatment team executives are wondering if he is human.
- In New Delhi, the team is looking for depth and will keep a close eye on the waiver wire. Says one team insider, if Matt Ryan goes down it will probably be a long season. The same could be said though of most other positions on the Subs roster.
- Staying in New Delhi, it appears that Kyle ‘1 catch for 11 yards’ Rudolph is trying to put last years tumultuous season behind him. He really has been the best TE on the team and that is probably a bad thing since he is the only TE on the team.
- There is a real QB battle going on in Salisbury, Michael Vick and Matt Stafford are neck and neck on the depth chart. One insider says there is absolutely no indication on how the coaching staff is leaning, it’s going to come down to whether or not one of them gets “Nancy Kerrigan-ed”
November 15, 2013
- I think I was totally wrong last week about South Carolina's losing streak being an aberration, with RB Arian Foster just placed on season ending IR it could get even uglier.
- I think the Tequila Sunrise's weekly litany of, "our team just isn't as good as our record, we're just getting some lucky bounces" isn't going to hold up anymore now that they share the best record in the league with Tabbi's Kats.
- I think that the recently leaked sex tape of Hartford RB Trent Richardson may actually do more to keep him on the team next season than anything he's done on the field, if owner Chad Allen's internet browsing habits are any indication.
- I think the Cincinnat Bagels defense gave notice that they are relishing the idea of playing spoiler for the rest of the season.
- I think this is how I see the Endowed 7 after week 10:
1. Tequila Sunrise (8-2)
2. Tabbi's Kats (8-2)
3. South Carolina Scarecrows (7-3)
4. Boise Boy Scouts (6-4)
5. Salisbury Snappers (6-4)
6. Indy Animals (5-5)
7. Chicago Fightin' Ditkas (5-5)
- I think these are the Players of the Week for week 10 in the IFFL: Offense: Boise QB Drew Brees, 392 yds & 4 TD's for 27 pts. Defense: Cincinnati Bagels, 20 points total, they scored 2 TD’s this week. Kicker: Tequila K Steven Hauschka, his 15 points put the nail in the Scarecrows this week.
- I think the Salisbury Snappers will run the table to win the East, barely knocking the Tequila Sunrise out of a bye and into the Wildcard round.
November 9, 2013
- I think that the two game losing streak the South Carolina Scarecrows are on is just an aberration and they will right the ship in week 10 against Tequila.
- I think the injury to QB Aaron Rodgers isn’t that big of a factor for New Delhi, I'm thinking they weren’t making the playoffs anyways so it just gives him more time to learn the teams offense.
- I think the biggest surprise team in the league this year is Tabbi’s Kats. One owner said, "They have stayed healthy this year, they had a lot of players who needed to stay healthy and they did, that’s why they are winning.”
- I think I was really wrong in this column about the Taipei Personality, they have just underachieved and it all starts in the backfield with CJ2ypc and the geriatric Steven Jackson. In the offseason this team will need to get younger at RB and that’s all there is to that.
- I think this is how I see the Endowed 7 after week 9:
1. Tabbi’s Kats (8-1)
2. South Carolina Scarecrows (7-2)
3. Tequila Sunrise (7-2)
4. Boise Boyscouts ( 5-4)
5. Indy Animals (5-4)
6. San Antonio Mexican’ts (5-4)
7. Salisbury Snappers (5-4)
- I think these are the Players of the Week for week 9 in the IFFL: Offense: Cincinnati WR Andre Johnson, 229 yds 3 tds 24 points total. Defense: South Carolina, 15 points total, they scored 2 TD’s this week. Can someone wake these guys up with video from last year!? Kicker: Tabbi's K Stephen Gostkowski, his 13 points would’ve almost beat the Subs last week.
- I think this weeks game of the week is South Carolina at Tequila, this game will shape the top of the playoffs I think.
November 2, 2013
- I think the Subs may have shown the league the blueprint for beating the Scarecrows, hit Peyton Manning a lot and have one of your skill position players set a single game record... the Scarecrows may not win another game.
- I think this season was the most trade heavy season since the dark years under former comissioner Trevor Harless.
- I think with the upcoming Christmas single by Lita Ford and Cherie Curry and the recent appearences of Joan Jett and Lita together that it's inevitable that we see a Runaways reunion in the next year or so.
- I think it's ironic that despite the percieved madness that is the Hartford Whalers organization that so many teams are adopting the Whalers wide reciever heavy offensive strategy.
- I think this is the IFFL's Endowed 7 for week 8:
1) Tabbi's (7-1)
2) South Carolina (7-1)
3) Tequila (6-2)
4) San Antonio (5-3)
5) Boise (4-4)
6) New Whiteland (4-4)
7) Indy (4-4)
- I think these are the Players of the Week for week 8 in the IFFL: Offense: Calvin Johnson, I'm thinking the Bagels shouldn’t have traded this stud but the Subs have a keeper. Defense: New Delhi Subs, it’s a double play week! The defense is the reason South Carolina is not undefeated anymore. Kicker: Mason Crosby, had 14 points, great week for Crosby.
- I think the Tequila Sunrise have got to be worried about their offense, they're winning games but it's not by scoring points.
October 10, 2013
- I think that the reports that San Antonio team owner Tanya Harless swung a baseball bat and broke Owen Daniels leg at halftime of the DVB Sunday have got to be erroneous, at least we hope she is a better sport than that.
- I think that South Carolina is looking primed to make run at the league’s first ever undefeated season this year, all they seemingly need to do is keep Peyton Manning upright.
- I think it's just plain poetic that Julio Jones of the New Delhi Subs broke his foot after the game when he slipped on a banana peel that was dropped by owner Pete Shaunki. Said one Sub, “It was just like in the cartoons when the one character would slip on a banana peel," but this one was more damning to the Subs playoff chances.
- I think the Sunrise have really set themselves up to be mighty explosive in the second half of the season with the trade for CJ Spiller, the team was really excited for Trent in training camp this year but he hasn’t developed like they had hoped.
- I think this is the IFFL’s Endowed 7 for week 5:
1) South Carolina (5-0)
2) Tabbi’s (4-1)
3) Tequila (3-2)
4) Boise (3-2)
5) San Antonio (3-2)
6) Hartford (3-2)
7) Indy (3-2)
- I think these are the Players of the Week for week 5 in the IFFL. Offense: Tony Romo, wow, just wow. Defense: South Carolina, yet another TD on the defensive side of the ball. Kicker: Matt Prater, Taipei, was the main cause of the Snappers loss after leading the 1st 3 qtrs of the game, hit 3 4th qtr FG’s.
- I think the Salisbury Snappers might be a surprise team in the 2nd half of the season after adding Larry Fitzgerald today, we’ll see if they can start stringing together some wins.
October 4, 2013
- I think the Taipei Personality are in a world of trouble if they don't start playing up to their potential, this team is a monster on paper... in a related story owner Andrew Wang has been inquiring about the feasibility of installing paper turf at Daiwoo Park Stadium.
- I think that the Tequila Sunrise should think about a change at quarterback, Philip Rivers has looked great in practice and starter Andy Dalton has been inconsistent so far this season.
- I think TE Jimmy Graham may be the mosted hated player in the league outside of Chicago.
- I think the Cincinnati Bagels held open tryouts for their janitorial staff, no word on any signings yet.
- Here is the IFFL's Endowed 7 for this week:
1) South Carolina (4-0)
2) San Antonio (3-1)
3) Hartford (3-1)
4) Tabbi's (3-1)
5) Chicago (2-2)
6) Tequila (2-2)
7) Boise (2-2)
- I think these are the Players of the Week for week 4 in the IFFL. Offense: Drew Brees, has led the Boy Scouts to two straight victories. Defense: Tabbi's Kats, they told Adrian Peterson "your teammates are going to have to beat us" and the Sunrise offense couldn’t respond. Kicker: David Akers, although they lost the Animals kicker hit on 4 FG’s and 4 Xp’s.
- I think that the Domestic Violence Bowl may acually be a competitive game this year.
September 26, 2013
- I think the league has been put on notice that the Fightin’ Ditka’s are here to stay this season as TE Jimmy Graham has put up back to back weeks of 18+ points and is poised to do so against the Mexican’ts.
- I think there is going to be one more blockbuster trade this season its just a matter of when it happens and who it involves.
- I think we haven’t seen the last of the Mexican’ts even after their week of futility against the the Boy Scouts I would still install them as the favorites in the West.
- I think the Snappers just got scored on again, this has got to be a hard season in Salisbury, we’re told that you may want to keep an eye open as more changes may be coming.
- Here is the IFFL’s Endowed 7 for the week:
1) South Carolina 3-0
2) Chicago 2-1
3) Tequila 2-1
4) San Antonio 2-1
5) Hartford 2-1
6) New Whiteland 2-1
7) Tabbi’s 2-1
- I think these are the Players of the Week for week 3 in the IFFL. Offense: Drew Brees, he threw for 370 yards and 4 TD’s and kept San Antonio off the field. Defense: The South Carolina Defense tied the entire Taipei team with 24 points on the week. Kicker: Robbie Gould was responsible for putting Pittsburgh to 0-3.
- I think it's a crucial point in the season for Pittsburgh and Salisbury, they're going to need to win if they are going to have a chance at the postseason.
September 21, 2013
- I think the Kats should start getting worried about RGIII's trend of not getting going until the second half this season, somebody's going to figure it out and make them pay for it.
- I think the amount of wheeling and dealing so far this season is reaching epidemic porportions, having said that we hear that Tequila WR Dwyane Bowe is on the market.
- I think that with the addition of RB Arian Foster South Carolina has positioned themselves as the favorite for the title this season.
- I think I may have to rethink my position of TE's being overvalued after Jimmy Graham's amazing performance in week 2.
- Here is the IFFL's Endowed Seven for the week:
1) San Antonio Mexican'ts (2-0)
2) South Carolina Scarecrows (2-0)
3) Tequila Sunrise (1-1)
4) New Whiteland Chicken Pluckers (2-0)
5) Tabbi's Kats (2-0)
6) Hartford Whalers (1-1)
7) Chicago Fightin' Ditkas (1-1)
- I think my MVP of the week is TE Jimmy Graham, while Defense of the week is New Whiteland and Kicker of the week is Sebastian Janakowski.
- I think as long as San Antonio QB Matt Schaub keeps playing at this level and proving the doubters wrong, then the Mexican'ts will win their division.
September 11, 2013
- I think the season has started, someone wake up Salisbury and let them know Peyton Manning and the Scarecrow’s offense just scored on them again.
- I think I was really wrong about the Kats, giving "Bobby 3 Sticks" no credit for being able to come back from a second ACL injury in just 240 days seemed logical. Now if he can just keep it going, the Kats should return to the playoffs.
- I think the Peanut Butter Balls are in for a long season if they cant figure out how to get Doug Martin going. The offensive line blocked well on the second quarter Anrew Luck TD run, but they seemed to olé the Muscle Hamster’s runs.
- I think it's possible that one of the teams in the East may relocate to the West at the end of the season, forcing the league to redraw the divisions.
- Here are the IFFL's Endowed Seven this week:
1) Tequila Sunrise (1-0)
2) South Carolina Scarecrows (1-0)
3) San Antonio Mexican'ts (1-0)
4) Hartford Whalers (1-0)
5) Tabbi's Kats (1-0)
6) New Whiteland Chicken Pluckers (1-0)
7) Indy Animals (1-0)
- I think my MVP of the week is Peyton Manning, while Defense of the week is Tequila, and Kicker of the week is Greg Zeuerlein of Salisbury, one bright star.
- I think Matt Ryan has a right to be pissed off at New Delhi ownership. He was a starter and consistent performer for 5 years and was just jettisoned out the door.